How To Do Everything

Dear Reader,

How to do Everything From the Man Who Should Know, a book by Red Green.

I'm not surprised that the man who is the leader of Possum Lodge, Chapter 11, in Northern Ontario, would eventually get around to wrting a book. Actually Red has written a few books. Red has sooo much knoweledge in that head of his it is only natural he share it with us.

I remember Red's television show The Red Green Show, and the previous show called Smith and Smith, both were comedies, and both featured our unique brand of Canadian humor. 
Steve Smith aka Red Green was born in Toronto, yep right here, he produced the TV shows in Hamilton, he is a real hometown boy, but his heart belongs to Northern Ontario, where the Possum Lodge is.

Steve was awarded the "Order of Canada" in 2011, and continues to perform as Red Green.

This self help book is actually my first ever self help book, I received this book from Patrick for my birthday, thanks Pat. (What are you trying to tell me?)

My favorite part about this book, or rather my favorite chapter, is the chapter on hanging doors. I agree with red when he tells the reader that the single most difficult thing to do is to hang a door, unless of course you are to buy all the door pre hung in frames, then it becomes much easier, but to buy a door, then have to cut in the hinges and the door knob, well I suggest you take Red's advice.  Buy all the doors pre-hung in their frames, and then build the house around them.  It's that simple.

Speaking of doors, I did have the opportunity to hang a door recently, and I did not have the luxury of having it pre-hung in a frame, let me tell you about it.

A friend purchased a doggy daycare in downtown Toronto, called Umbrella Pet Services, everyone is helping out to spruce the place up a bit, and I was asked to put a new door on, what I call the utility area.  The building is old, not ancient, but old, made of cement and brick, with wooden floor beams reinforced with steel I beams, old.  When I first saw this door I realized that it was going to need to be changed, and this is when I started cringing, damn I hat hanging doors.
Now I have hung doors in the past, I have build cabinets requiring doors, ceder chest with doors, covers for electrical panels with doors, but for the most part, I built the doors first then build the cabinet around them, (you got it right Red).

At first glance the door opening appears to be a standard 30" wide, so a 30" wide door is purchased, and luckily it already hade the door handle holes in place.  All I have to do is cut in the hinges, hang the door and hope that the latch matches the hole in the jamb.
Before I measure and cut for the hinges, the existing door has the top 1/3 cut off, so anyone in the utility area can still look out and see the dogs, hear the dogs, and provide direction to the dogs, like, "no barking", (ya right!), and "stop chasing after Fluffy", and "no humping before lunch" (ya right!), things like that.  So I measure the door height, transfer my numbers to the new door, clamp on a straight edge for my circular saw, and begin to either ruin a perfectly good door, or hang a perfectly good door.
Yes, thank you Dear Reader, I will fill in the top of the newly cut section to maintain the strength, good idea.

Next I measure and cut for the hinges, measuring is easy, cutting them is not so easy, but we manage to get them in the correct spot, phew.  Time to mount the hinges, then mount the door, and voila, the door will not close.  What???   So I carefully measure the old door, which by the way is a complete right off, imagine a herd of 60 to 80 pound dogs charging the door, over several years, trying to get at their lunch, no, not not the employees behind the door, but the dog food that is stored there, the door is trashed, careful measuring tells me that the door is about 1/4" smaller than standard.  Dammit, now I have to cut off the hinge cutouts I so carefully made, remember that the handle hole is already in place when it was purchased, can't cut that side, OK, lets get on with it. 
I measured the opening and trying to read the tape measure with the thing curving back toward you is not an exact science, but it looks like 29-3/4", most of it anyway.  More careful measuring, clamp on my straight edge saw guide, and off comes, 1/4" of door along with my carefully placed hinge cutouts.
I put the hinge cutouts back in, only after checking to see if the door will fit, it does, now will the latch line up?

The latch lines up, after a bit of further adjustment, the door closes smooth as you like, now to reinforce the top of the door where I cut it shorter.  Here AT, the owner of Umbrella came up with a great idea, put the 1/4" piece cut off from the door edge on top of the cut section of the door to cover up the glued in inserts, and make it look nice.  Well it does look nice, and the new door has added to the overall look of the daycare.

There you have it Dear Reader, and remember, "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

bfn Brian.

Spider Bones and Thunderhead

Dear Reader,

Spider Bones by Kathy Reichs is a book that I purchased and had given to Lianne for her birthday, or was it Christmas.  Either occasion is always good for bestowing a book or two.  As I was purchasing this book for her, I had no thoughts about reading it myself, it was just a book on her list, she wanted it so, I got it for her.

As I'm sure I have mentioned before, I have many, many books of my own, waiting to be read. Between my last blog and this one I read a book that I did not actually post a blog about, for that I apologise, but I'm sure it will happen time and time again as we move forward.

The book that we missed is called Thunderhead by Douglas Peston and Lincoln Child, yes that is correct Dear Reader, Preston and Child are the authors of the Pendergast series that I am slowly re -reading, good memory.

Thunderhead takes place in southwester Utah, where Nora Kelly, and archaeologist, leads a team into a maze of canyons looking for treasure. After receiving a letter from her father who disappeared 16 years earlier describing the long lost path that leads to the treasure.  Nora assembles her team, hires horses and follows the path her father took all those long years ago.  Did Nora find the treasure, did she find her father, you will have to read the book to find out.  I will tell you that we all must be careful of what we wish for and be prepared to face the consequences and responsibilities of what we aspire to.

After finishing Thunderhead, I was reviewing my choices for my next read, in my E-reader I have the next 3 Pendergast novels, I have one other Preston novel,  something by Tom Clancey, as well as a few paper books waiting, not to mention my bag-o-books from MI.  So I pick one of Lianne's books instead of one that has been waiting patiently for me, for, well for ever it would seem.  Lianne told me that she saw it on one of the ten best novels list in the Globe and thought it looked interesting.  Ok I think let's try a new author, I say, and I am glad I did.

Spider Bones is a mystery, not quite a "who done it" mystery, but a "who is it" mystery.  Dr. Temperance Brennan, a forensic anthropologist, is asked to review the remains of a Vietnam Solder who had died in the Vietnam war and was buried in the USA in 1968. She was asked to investigate the remains because, a person with the same fingerprints was found dead, floating in a Quebec river.  If he died in Vietnam, and is buried in North Carolina, how could he be floating in a river in Canada?

The mystery grows larger, as we are following the trail of bones from one grave, perhaps with the wrong person in it, to Hawaii to seek the help of the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), whose mission is to find the remains of American war dead,  and identify them.   The JPAC actually exists, check out this link.

Why is the wrong body identified in this grave, or is it the right body and the finger prints from the dead river dude  are wrong?  Could it be a mix up in Vietnam, could someone have miss identified the person, but wait, we now have two more skeletons, as yet not identified, and they all seem to fit together, did they all died in the same helicopter crash in 1968?

Our good Doctor Brennan runs into family members of dead US solders who refuse to provide DNA samples to assist in positively identifying their sons, and brothers, she finds herself getting chased by bad guys, gets run off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean, not the deep part of the ocean, but near the shore where is a little shalower, we can't have our star bone expert drowning now can we.

Who is in the grave in North Carolina, who's bones are in storage in Hawaii, why will no one provide DNA.

Kathy Reichs in real life is a Doctor, she teaches FBI dudes how to deal with dead bodies, bones etc, and her novels are the basis of the TV show Bones.

Spider Bones is a great read, easy to follow and alot of fun.

Next up is  a book I received from "the boy" How To Do Everything: (From the Man Who Should Know) by Red Green.

 bfn Brian

Dead Before Dark

Dear Reader,



This is another book given to my by AT.  This one is your typical murder mystery, no flashy trips into the future, no flying cars traveling at 300 kilometers per hour, or rather miles per hour, no one getting genetically enhanced, or “improved”.  Hey, have you noticed that in the future some countries still have not embraced the international standards for measurement.



This book does have a few things that make it an interesting read. The first thing is that this book has not one, but two characters who have some sort of sixth sense.  I’m not talking about mom having eyes in the back of her head type thing, but a genuine ability to pick up vibes from “things”.  Well, ok the book might have two of these people in it but only one has the ability to use and control the ESP power, the other one is kinda like mom’s ability to “pick up” on things, and sometimes even receive mental pictures, we all receive mental pictures, but this girl gets them in colour, and while her eyes are open.

I think the rest of us get our mental pictures while we sleep, and mostly in black and white, or faded colours at the most. 

Although, many years ago during my, oh, 6^th attempt to quick smoking I tried using the nicotine patch, this would have been not long after they were developed, around 1990 or 1991, and man did I have the most vivid colorful realistic dreams ever. I always said that I would go back on the patch if only for the dreams. I did finally quit smoking in 1997.



Enough about dreams, oh wait just one more thing you should check out the Blog called “The REM Files” the link is on my sidebar, some interesting stuff, ok so now back to Dead before Dark, the storyline is carried quite well, I found myself actually slowing down, as I neared the end of the book, I did not want the story to end, I wanted to allow the suspense to build, not that Wendy was not doing a good job of that herself, I felt that as I neared the end of the book, the story deserved my entire focus, and unlike the beginning or middle of this book I found myself reading every word.

Our main character becomes entangled in a suspenseful mystery that actually started 30 years in the past, no we did not time travel back to have a look, as long as you agree that the telling of memories is not actually traveling, well physically anyway. Our psychic is the main character, she along with an old friend (linked to a murder victim), a new friend (retired FBI dude), who originally investigated a serial killer who’s trail went cold and who stopped killing, some family members and other various other cops and FBI all end up tracking what appears to be the same killer 30 years later.

Perhaps the killing 30 years ago stopped because the killer was arrested and jailed for another crime, or he just decided to take a break, is he still in jail and someone else started up after hearing his stories, after all when you are in the big house you tend to brag on you’re “badness” to ensure that you are not on the bottom of the food chain, or so I’m told.

We do hear from the serial killer throughout the book, we get into his thoughts, we get hints, little caveats, but never any real idea of who he is, how he is tied to the various players and why he is killing all these people.  Of course he does leave us clues, small links to the past, and to the players, he wants Lucinda to figure it out. Oh, who is Lucinda, right I have not introduce her properly have I.  Lucinda is our main character she is the police detective/ESP sixth sence, eyes in the back of her head, “I have a bad feeling about this”, all around likeable, young, rich, perhaps soon to be heroine of our story.

The killer wants to be found, if you believe every book and TV show with a serial killer, and he wants, yes we are sure it is a he, he wants Lucinda to do the finding, after all every clue, every murder is leading her and the rest of the police and FBI right into his maze of confusion and ?????.

Will Lucinda lead the police to the killer, will she become a victim, or will she just go crazy as the clues start pointing to her as the motivation for the killing, will the voices in her head overcome her, break her, perhaps the killer is not a man after all.

One thing that I was not ecstatic about in this book is the way in which Wendy moved between her story lines, I had to go back to the last paragraph or sometime further to see if I had missed something, as she moved from one storyline to the next she did not bring me with her, as a reader I mean.  I think that Wendy should try to trim down on her descriptions, not everything requires a detailed description, and some things need no description at all, here is an example. “Have a seat, want a can of pop? Jason asked gesturing at the vending machine that works.”  I never did find out about the pop machine that did not work?  Sometimes less is better.

I will read another Wendy Coursi Staub book sometime, as I believe she knows how to create suspense and intertwine her audience with her characters.



bfn,
Brian

Still Life with Crows

Dear Reader,

Some time in the mid 1990’s I was introduced to a book that some friends thought I would enjoy.  It’s interesting how, as we move further into the electronic and digital stage of our evolution we will begin to be unable to share simple things like a paperback novel with friends.  Looking back at my earlier Blogs, you will notice that quiet a few of the books I have read come from other people either as a loan, or a book that I then pass on to someone else to enjoy.  I have always found that by sharing a book with someone, brings about a close relationship with that person or persons, giving one a common frame of reference on which to build a stronger relationship.

So at that time, I was introduced to FBI agent Aloysius Pendergast, unorthodox, intelligent, smart, yes there is a difference between being intelligent and being smart.  Pendergast is also wealthy, and somewhat eccentric, but this only adds to his colourful character.

I have read all the Pendergast novels, 11 in total, and now I have found that Preston and Childs have written the 12th due out this year.  I have started re-reading the Pendergast novels, this particular book Still Life with Crows is number 4 in the series. I had actually never re-read a book until just recently (2011).  When book 5 of George RR Martin’s series ASong of Ice and Fire, was due to be released, I decided to re-read books 1 – 4, I found it to be a great experience, re living the adventure again, I enjoyed it so much that I decided to re-read the Pendergast novels, then I discovered the upcoming 12^th book.

It takes several books to really get to know the main character, Pendergast, and even then he continues to surprise the reader with new and strange talents, one begins to wonder how one person can evolve into such and interesting personality.  The first book in this series was made into a movie, with the same name as the book “Relic”.  Unfortunately for me the only reason I wanted to see the movie was to witness first hand, on screen, the captivating personality of Pendergast, but unfortunaty for unknown reasons, of which I will never forgive, the writers/directors decided to “write out” the character of Pendergast. I have no idea why, but in my opinion it made the movie pale greatly, in comparison to the book.

Still Life with Crows could be considered to be slightly science fiction, but who really knows about the goings on in the small town like this, the creature could actually exist.

The setting is a small town in Kansas called Medicine Creek, surrounded by corn fields, this boring sleepy little town gets woken up by a series of bizarre murders.  Just after the first murder victim is found, incidentally it is interesting that the local sheriff and everyone else in town know when something dies out in the hectors of corn, by the circling of crows above the field, marking the spot.  So just after the first murder is discovered, only a few hours after, a stranger steps off the greyhound bus as it pulls up across from the sheriffs office. The stranger is dressed in a black suit, charcoal black, his pale skin is in direct contrast to the suit, and he carries his obviously wiry skin and bone frame with a smoothness that makes one thing if a silk scarf billowing in the wind, here enters Pendergast.

Pendergast in on vacation, did he just show up hoping to take in the local wild life, or visit the museum, we don’t think so, he approaches the sheriff, as the sheriff struggles with the press, Pendergast quickly disperses the press, and invites the sheriff into his own office for a chat, and from that point on Pendergast irritates the sheriff to no end, that is until everything the strange man, with the weird habits, black suit, and unorthodox methods starts to make sense.

Pendergast befriends one of the town stranger residents, a rebelling teen, who just happens to know the town inside out, it’s residents, it’s secretes, it’s history.  Pendergast needed a driver, after all he did arrive on the bus, so he hires this misfit teen with the purple hair and no future to drive him around town in her beat up old Gremlin, later on he has one of his two Rolls-Royce Silver Wraiths delivered as he feels that things are getting too dangerous for his, as now official, assistant.  Needless to say his “goth” assistant finds herself in the middle of a battle for her very existence, as she fumbles into the lair of what we know now to be a serial killer.  Pendergast must battle the unknown to save the girl, the sheriff, the killer and the town, he does it with style, and grace as only he can.

I have to thank K & N for introducing me to Douglass Preston and Lincoln Childs, they are two excellent story tellers, both as a team and as solo writers.

bfn
Brian